In Loving Memory

I think that I shall never see,
a poem lovely as a tree!

A tree whose hungry mouth is pressed,
against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
and lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in summer wear,
a nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain,
who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
but only God can make a tree!
(Joyce Kilmer)

In loving memory of William James Telford
December 14, 1913 - December 14, 2010

A Few of My Favorite Things

The Holidays have officially arrived! Christmastime always makes me think of my favorite things (I'm not sure if it's just the nature of the season itself, or if it's because they've converted the Sound of Music song into a Christmas song...), and one of my very favorite things is putting up Christmas decorations. I love, love, love turning on the MoTab, stringing my garland of lights, setting up the nativity, and then turning out the lights and enjoying a warm cup of tea while looking at the sparkling lights. It's just such a peaceful, happy thing.

I'm not one who gets into too much elaborate Christmas decorating (I've made a promise to Jon to limit our Christmas decorations to no more than a couple of boxes), but I do have a couple of pieces that are my absolute favorites and "make" Christmas for me. The first is a simple garland with white lights that I bought before getting married when I wanted to bring some Christmas spirit into my apartment of single girls. I always hang it prominently, and love the way the lights make evergreen shaped shadows on the wall.

The second is my nativity set that I got while in Jerusalem. I actually went to Jerusalem intent on not getting a nativity set (something about it being what everyone else did, and not wanting to be "cliche" ... part of my late-blooming, adolescent need to assert my independence from society :) But, of course, once there I fell in love with a particular beautiful olive wood nativity, and it has truly become my treasured remembrance of that amazing summer. I love pulling it out and thinking of all that Christmas is really about ... the simple assurance of peace that came through the quiet birth of a Baby in Bethlehem.

My goal every year is to invite Christ into my life more during the holidays. This year that seems especially vital as I think of beginning Christmas traditions now as a mother. I'd love to hear more about your "favorite things" that help you to feel the spirit of Christmas both personally and with your children.

What are you thankful for?

I love these Church YouTube videos! This one captured some of my thoughts lately as Thanksgiving is approaching:



Some of the little things I'm thankful for lately are:

• the pitter patter sound James makes as he crawls around the house
• having a husband that I know I can trust completely
• a jogging stroller, and beautiful weather to use it in
• two days off each week to be home
• monitor sitting
• scriptures and prayer

What are you thankful for?

What we've been up to

Dear Blogosphere:

I'm sorry I've been neglecting you ... life has been busy.

In a nutshell, here's some of what we've been up to:

...practicing walking

...practicing baking...

...and just being downright cute!!

Life will calm down soon, right??

Wishfully thinking,
Blogging Me

Jon's Experiment

Since I've gone back to work in the last few weeks, and Jon still hasn't started classes, he's been spending a lot of time at home by himself with James. He's been a fantastic daddy, and I love coming home and hearing about all of their adventures. But, I secretly think that all that time alone with a baby has made him a little more bored than usual at times. For several weeks he decided to start experimenting with a new look. This is how my Jon typically looks:

(isn't he handsome!)

But for several weeks, this is the Jon I've come home to:

Now, I always swore that I wouldn't let my husband grow facial hair, because honestly the thought of kissing that .... But, I'm not going to get into how my personal biases changed and/or stayed the same throughout this experiment, because I'm really curious to get others' opinions about this experiment (don't worry, I'm not going to ask how you'd feel about kissing that face!) Really, the whole point of the "experiment" is that Jon has always wondered if having facial hair would make him look older. He wonders that because someday in the hopefully not too far distant future he will be applying for professorships, and he has this idea that looking older will make him a more likely candidate for a job. So, the question is this (okay, there's actually more than one):
1. Does Jon look older with facial hair?
2. Do you think he's more likely to get hired as a professor with or without the facial hair?

I realize this is a very scientific experiment, not to mention an extremely relevant issue for everyone :) ... but, I'd love to see the polling data all the same, so chime in with your opinion (you can leave a comment, or just cast your vote on the sidebar).

p.s. I think that Jon's influence is wearing off on James, because this is how he did himself up at our recent day at the beach...

(either he can't wait to grow his own beard, or sand tastes much better than I realize!)

3 Weeks and 5 Years later

Well, we survived our marathon vacation to Utah. James was a champ ... no, make that a super-champ. He traveled well, he slept well, and he stole the hearts of all his aunts, uncles, and cousins (if they weren't his already). And though 3 weeks was a very long time to spend on vacation, we decided in the end that it was well worth it to be able to spend quality time with family.

Bonding with his namesake ... there is wisdom passing through the years.

He thought great-grandma Averett's doggy sounds were very funny!

Baby races and cage fights with cousin Marshall :)

The other bonus of being in Utah was that we got to take advantage of the free and willing babysitting. Jon and I stole away for 2 days to celebrate our 5 year anniversary. Yes, that's right, I have been married to the most amazing husband in the world for a whole 5 years!! They've been the best of my life, and I can't wait for 500 more! We celebrated by staying at a lovely little B&B in Moab, Utah and rediscovering our love for hiking together (and for each other, of course). Arches was beautiful - I especially loved our sunset hike to the license-plate-famous Delicate Arch.

If you look real close, you can see Jon down under the arch!

Off to Utah

We're headed to Utah tomorrow. A 14-hour drive and just over 3 weeks with a baby ... are we nuts? Maybe. But we're looking forward to it all the same (we'll see what I'm saying after it's all done!)

Know any good road trip games? How about secrets to keeping a baby happy in the car for a whole day?

Reflections

So I've been having a hard time thinking up things to blog about lately. I don't know what my deal is, but I sit down with the urge to blog and then cannot come up with anything interesting to write ... maybe this is what they call writer's block?

Anyway, in an effort to break through the block I'm going to break out of my "comfort zone" (my mom lectured me for years about the value of doing that, and I try to trust my mother's judgment) and go for some personal reflections. Here goes...

As I get older, I increasingly feel the need to make deeper connections with people - to want to feel like I've touched or been touched by my interactions with others. I guess I see this as the foundation of solid, deep friendships, which is something I've never felt very confident about. I'm fine with meeting people, being friendly, and having a number and variety of "acquaintances," but I feel like my interactions stay right there and rarely deepen into what I would call close "friendships." I'm not really sure what to do about it, but there you have it - one of the burning questions of my life ... how does one move from "acquaintance" to "friend"? Any ideas out there?

Okay, enough therapy (this from the psychologist breaking out of her comfort zone) ... thanks for listening, Blogworld, I'm done now.

(p.s. in case you're wondering ... the picture has nothing much to do with this post, but since I see every post as another opportunity to sneak in a picture of my favorite baby in the world, there it is!)

Summer Fun!

Yay! Summer has started, which means I get a few weeks of freedom to be home and be mommy. There are many things I love about my work, but this has got to be one of the biggest!

So, summer's start has also coincided with James' 6-month birthday, which means the start of solid foods. I decided that living in an area with so much accessible fresh produce that we should try making our own baby food for James. We've barely begun to skim the surface of possible baby puree "recipes," but I'm impressed so far by how simple it is. I love knowing exactly what's going into his food, and I'm surprised by how much fun I'm actually having with the whole process (I think it feeds my creative cooking side - I actually even went so far as to by a baby puree recipe book).

Basically, here's what we do:
1. Cut up the fruit/veggies.
2. Steam them.
3. Puree them (we use our food processor).
4. Put the pureed mush into an ice cube tray prepped with a slight bit of non-stick cooking spray.
5. Freeze.
6. Pop out into freezer bag (labeled with food and date) to save until ready to eat.

Then, when we're ready to eat, I just take out an ice brick of the day's treat, let it thaw or microwave it for about 30 seconds, and voila - a lovely mash for James to enjoy. We've started with the basics, his favorites so far are sweet potatoes and carrots (with a tiny pinch of cinnamon) and peas. He is not a fan of apples ... go figure. But I can't wait until we graduate to more "gourmet" recipes like "chicken with sweet potato and apple" or "tomato, cauliflower, and carrot with basil" or "apricot, apple, pear, and vanilla" ... I think I'll want to start having what he's having!

Happy Fathers' Day

To the Fathers in my life:

• To my husband and the amazing father of my son: Thanks for taking a fully participatory, lovingly active role in raising our baby boy. I love the look in his eyes when he looks up and smiles at his daddy.

• To my Dad: Thanks for being a listening ear so many times that I've needed one. Thanks for being in tune with the Spirit to know those moments to call and lift my spirits.

• To my Father-in-law: Thanks for being a bright light of positive energy that makes me feel such a welcome part of your family. Thanks for teaching so many great skills to your son.

• To my Eternal Father: Thank you for all the blessings that fill my life with so much joy.
  

Sitting Pretty

James is learning lots of new tricks these days, and I can't help but post a picture of one of his latest.

Happy Mothers' Day!

I know many amazing mothers, and I am grateful for the example and influence of all of the women who take a "motherly" role in my life. But, I am especially grateful this Mothers' Day for two mothers in particular.

My own mother is my model - the person I think of in almost every respect when I think of the mother I want to be. She has modeled to me how to be patient when your children perhaps don't deserve patience, how to sacrifice and put your children's needs first, how to smile through the hard times, and how to make everyone around you feel like the most important person in the world. Most of all I have learned from my mom that unconditional love is the most important trait that I want to cultivate as a mother, and my greatest desire is to have a heart as big as my mom's.

The other amazing mother in my life is my mother-in-law. She has raised an amazing group of children, and I am eternally grateful to her for all of the wonderful qualities that she instilled into (at least) one of her sons. She is an example to me of hard work, of appreciating a job well done, and of focusing on those things that are most important in life.

This year, especially, I have become aware of the many sacrifices that go into being a mother, most of which stem from your enormous wish that you can give this child in your arms all that he deserves. In those moments when you want to be the best mother you can but have absolutely no idea how, I look to and am grateful for the examples I have been given from these amazing mothers.

Do you believe in Fates?

I was lucky enough last week to have a birthday, the only downside of which turns out to be that my drivers license expired, which means that today I had the lovely opportunity to pack up James to head off to the DMV.

The Department of Motor Vehicles is one of those places where, I am convinced, the Fates work against you. I don't know how they do it, and I don't believe that they work against me only, but I am convinced that they delight in thwarting your every move to make it through with your patience intact.

Upon first arrival at the DMV, I pull into the too-small parking lot at nearly the same time as at least 6 other cars. All of us begin circling around looking for spots -- of which there are none. After searching for a solid 10 minutes I finally find a spot at the furthest end of the lot. As I hulk my 50-lb carseat with baby and diaper bag in tow, the line of cars looking for parking has disappeared and I, of course, pass 3 open spots on my way into the building.

Once inside the DMV the first thing I notice is the long line of people waiting for a number. I, luckily, made an appointment "to save time," but alas the line for people with appointments (that currently ends right at the door) is even longer than the line for people without appointments. As I stand, still carrying the 50 pounds of baby and carseat, I get to watch the convenient monitor that tells you how long the wait time is at every nearby DMV ... all of which are, of course, shorter than the one I'm at.

Once I receive my number I then get to wait ... and wait ... and wait. About 40 minutes later, the number right before mine comes up. I get excited and wait for them to shortly call my number. Another 5-7 minutes goes by before finally my number is called, followed shortly by the 5 numbers after mine. As I pass the original line (which had been all the way to the door) I can't help but notice that it is now empty. After some review, my paperwork luckily passes inspection, I pay my fee and am told to move to Line C ... which currently ends at the back wall. I lug the carseat (now filled with the diaper bag because the baby is now in my arms) to the end of the line, and every 30 seconds I move it another 2 feet forward with the line.

When I get to the front of Line C, they take my picture and give me my test. With sleeping baby in one arm, I take the test (carefully, so that I don't fail and have to come back again to the DMV), and then move to Line D, which reaches only halfway to the back wall (though is now longer than Line C that now consists of about 5 people). But, courage! I am nearly to the end of my trek, and I patiently try to smile back at the sympathetic looks people give me when they see my adorable sleeping baby in my arms and think optimistically of how many muscles I am building by carrying around 20 pounds of dead weight for over an hour ... instead of thinking about how quiet the DMV has suddenly gotten, how short all of the lines I have already gone through are, and why didn't I come at 11:30 in the morning rather than 9:55?

And so, Fates, you may have won a few small battles along the way, but in the end my quest was successful, I am now a licensed California driver, and I don't have to return to your pernicious playground for another 5 years!

Family Resemblances

While we were in Utah a couple of weeks ago we got to compare how James fits in with the family. Basically, we found a few family resemblances:

1. He looks crazy similar to the baby pictures of my baby brother Christian at the same age.
2. Other than the fact that they're both big big babies, he doesn't look a whole lot like his closest cousin Marshall (though they sure liked getting to know each other!)
3. Even though he takes after my side of the family a lot, he has definitely inherited that super smile of his from his Grandpa Felt!
   

(oh yeah, and his taste in clothes!)

Despite what you hear ... the rumors are true.

I've heard there's a rumor circulating about that I'm turning 30 today. I can't imagine where that would have come from, given the fact that I know that Jon turned 28 last month and I am determined that you are only as old as your spouse. Therefore, ...

Oh, okay, I'll confess - the rumors are true and I am 30'd. In all truth, I'm not feeling all that bad about admitting my age right now. I know that I dreaded 25, because it seemed so old, but really when I look back 25-30 have been the best years yet. I'm going to take that as a good omen for those "milestone" years. Everything I hear is that 30 is great. "You're in your prime," someone told me today.

So, bring it on ... I am welcoming 30 with open arms, and can't wait to see what the next decade has in store!

Family Time

Last week was my spring break, so James and I spent the week in Utah visiting family. He got to spend time with grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, cousins, and more! It was so fun to share his joy with so many loving family members.

While we were there, my amazingly talented cousin Arika did some photo shooting. She definitely captured his cute little personality!

Playing in the Grass

I came home from grocery shopping last Saturday to discover an empty house and two little boys playing on the grass (one of them for the first time!)

I sure do love those two!

Back to Work

I returned to work 2 weeks ago, and the transition has definitely been full of many new decisions, emotions, and challenges. I knew that it wouldn't be an easy thing, but I had no idea the variety of emotions that I've felt - both positive and negative - as I've had to leave little baby James 4 days a week. Even though it's been tough, though, there are a number of bright spots that have made the transition easier, including:

• having a job I like ... At least if I'm having to be at work instead of with my baby it's nice to be doing something that I enjoy and that feels useful.
  
• having a supportive work environment ... This has made such a difference! People at work have been not only welcoming as I've come back, but so so supportive of my new identity as a mom, and all of the changes in my focus and priorities that come along with that.
• having a child care provider that I know and trust ... I can't imagine the worry and sadness that I would feel if I wasn't positive that James would be just fine while I am away from him.
• the empathy of other moms who have returned to work ... So many women have reached out with their own understanding of how hard it is to leave your baby, along with their reassurances that it does get easier.
• the help and support of an amazing husband who is also an amazing dad ... Enough said!

I could list many other things for which I feel so grateful in the past few weeks, and which I am trying to focus on as I continue to maneuver this transition. But, suffice it to say that despite the difficulties, I do feel very blessed and am so grateful for so many things, not least of which is a happy healthy baby boy that continues to bring so much joy and light to my life!

Check out that belly!

James has been working hard (or working me hard, as it were) at putting on a respectable amount of fat. He's certainly growing quickly, which I guess explains the weekly spurts of 2-hour feedings that leave me exhausted! But, in the end, the smiles make it all worth it!

I'm a Fan!

I have a confession:

I live in a place where palm trees grow, and while some would equate this with living in heaven, I have to admit that I don't really like it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not miserable in California - we are enjoying our time here, meeting many good friends, and enjoying wonderful educational and career opportunities. However, there's a lot here that drives me bonkers: cost of living, traffic, cost of living, crowds, cost of living ... and did I mention cost of living? I mean, yeah, the weather's great, but apparently weather costs a lot!

Anyway, I'm not here to gripe about California ... no, this is a positive blog post about the thing I like best about living here, the thing that I will totally miss when we leave California for cheaper pastures:

I'm a total fan of the Milk Pail!

The Milk Pail Market is an open-air market that sells mostly produce, but also cheeses, breads, and other bulk or specialty items. Basically it's a whole lot of fresh food packed into a small area that attracts a lot of people. This means that on any given day - but especially on Saturdays - it is likely to be very crowded! Carrying a basket as you weave your way through the bins of produce is often a tenuous process, and trying to push one of the mini shopping carts is nigh unto impossible. You are pretty much guaranteed to be running into toes and elbows, and you have to have your "excuse me's" and "I'm sorry's" ready and waiting. But, the nice thing is that even though you're guaranteed to be jabbed by others just as much as you jab, you and everyone else there know that shopping at the Milk Pail is worth the experience! You get such a great variety of quality produce (and other items) for such great prices, you're just happy to be there along with everyone else (including the employees, who, somehow despite all the crowds and craziness, are surprisingly efficient and friendly)!

For me, there is a certain thrill of pushing my way through it all and filling my basket or cart (depending on the day) to the brim with fresh produce, cheeses, etc., taking my goods up to the checkout - feeling certain that I have enough food to fill an army and that it is sure to cost me way more than I was planning on spending (as it would at any typical grocery store) - and then having it all total out to no more than $25! Knowing all the while that it is all healthy food that I can feel good about eating! It's a joyful thing!

It may sound funny, but I have to confess that shopping at the Milk Pail makes me happy and that I'm a fan!

Happy Birthdays!

Yesterday, James celebrated his 1-month birthday. He celebrated by not crying through his bath for the first time, and by giving lots of smiles while we took his picture (actually catching them quickly enough was another feat!)

His 1-month birthday gift was a new cousin - welcome John Marshall!